Well, I just got back from the Local
Had to try the local brew
And I ran into the local gossip
And I learned a thing or two
All about you local yokels
And what you’s get up to
And he read me your pedigrees
And I'll read em back to you
The local chef's a poofter
The local doc's a drunk
The local priest likes little boy’s bums
And the local cops a cunt
I said the local cops a cunt
The local mayor's a fucking dickhead
His wife's the local snob
The local bank manager's a fucking wanker
And so's the local cop
The local sparky a fucking cowboy
The local plumber's making a mint
The local undertaker's a fucking weirdo
And the local lawyer's full of shit
The local chef's a poofter
The local doc's a drunk
The local priest likes little boy’s bums
And the local cops a cunt
I said the local cops a cunt
The local bookie’s a shonky bastard
The local race’s is fucking rigged
Local public and order better be fucking hung for watering down the piss
The local Polly’s a gym jockey
And here’s something else I know
The local footy team ain’t worth fucking shit
And the local cricket teams a fucking joke
The local butcher's full of blowflies
Local dogs are full of fleas
The local barber's a fucking butcher
Local kids are fucking thieves
The local car yard's a fucking rip off
And so is the local show
And the local cop's a dead set cunt
But I mentioned that a minute ago
The local chef's a poofter
The local doc's a drunk
The local priest likes little boy’s bums
And the local cops a cunt
I said the local cops a cunt
