As I was going to Derby, 'twas on a market day,
I met the finest ram, sirs, that ever was fed upon hay.
That's a lie, that's a lie
That's a lie, a lie, a lie!
This ram and I got drunk, sir, as drunk as drunk could be.
And when we sobered up, sir, we were far away out on the sea.
That's a lie, that's a lie
That's a lie, a lie, a lie!
This wonderful old ram, sir, was playful as a kid; He swallowed the captain's spyglass along with the bo'sun's fid.
That's a lie, that's a lie
That's a lie, a lie, a lie!
One morning on the poop, sir, afore eight bells was struck,
He climbed up to the sky's I yard an' sat down on the truck.
That's a lie, that's a lie
That's a lie, a lie, a lie!
This wonnerful ol' ram, sir, he tried a silly trick, He tried to jump a five-barred fence an landed in a rick.
That's a lie, that's a lie
That's a lie, a lie, a lie!
This wonnerful ol'ram, sir, it grew two horns of brass, One grew out o' his shoulder blade, t'other turned into a mast .
That's a lie, that's a lie
That's a lie, a lie, a lie!
An' when this ram was killed, sir, the butcher was covered in blood,
Five and twenty butcher boys was carried away the flood.
That's a lie, that's a lie
That's a lie, a lie, a lie!
An' when this ram was z dead, sir, they buried it in St Joan's,
It tool ten men an' an elephant to carry one of it's bones.
That's a lie, that's a lie
That's a lie, a lie, a lie!
