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What if life were more like a theatre?
What if everywhere you went you heared a band?
Wouldn’t life be so much sweeter
if you could queue the weather with your hand.
And what if all your questions had rhyming answer.
And you never left home without your back-up dancers
What if life were more like theatre
Wouldn‘t life be grand?
What if life were tightly written
And devided into nifty little sceens
And just as you splittin‘
Your appartment disappeared by unknow means.
Thanks mysterious people in black clothing!
And what if no one thought that there was something strange
about a magical seven-second costume change?
Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
And than apropos of nothing
There were crazy dance routines.
What if everyone‘s diction were crisper.
And secrets were told in a shouting whisper.
And the only problems that mattered were your own
NPH: Hey, you guys wanna hear me sing about my problems?
Dancers: Yeah!
NPH: I love my fake friends.
What if everyone took it for granted,
That British umbrellas were all enchanted.
And your next door neighbor was the legendary Patty le Pone.
What if life were more exciting
More dramatic,intriguring, intense?
If every moment were nail-biting
Filled with ever-mounting danger and suspense?
And then just when you were in the most precarious position
You would get a brief intermission.
What if all of your collegues were hotties
With freakishly flexible bodies
And non of them needed to sleep or eat or pee
We don’t pee!
And if one day you feel kinda cruddy
You stay home and call your understudy
Yes, the role of him will now be played by me!
What if life were more like a theatre
With a simple motivation and a plot!
Don’t we all wish life were neater?
But we know that in reality it’s not
No, life is bleak and brutal and we carry from the cradle
The awarenes that it's futile and invariably fatal
We muddle without rest but through the sadness and confusion
We huddle at the cesspit of our sadness and delusion
If life were more like theatre
Life wouldn’t suck so much
Life wouldn’t suck so much
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