(And in three
two..)
[Interview #1]
[I] We're sitting here today with a film star Natalie Portman
[N]Hello
[I] So Natalie, what's a day in the life of Natalie Portman is like?
[N] Do you really want to know?
[I] Please, tell us
[N] I don't sleep motherf*cker off that 'gnac and the durban
Doing 1-20 getting head while I'm swerving
[Choir] (Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick)
[N] Yo, shut the f*ck up and suck my dick
I'm busting dudes valves like gushers motherf*cker
Pull up to NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker
[Choir] What you want Natalie?
[N] (To drink and fight!)
[Choir] What you need Natalie?
[N] (To f*ck all night!)
[N] Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane group
Put my foot down your throat 'til your shit's in my shoe
Leave you screaming, pay for my dry-cleaning
F*ck your man it's my name that he's screaming!
[Interview #2]
[I] I'm sorry Natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated?
[N] I never said that I was a role model
[I] But, what about the kids that look up to you?
[I] Do you have a message for them?
[Natalie Portman]
[N] All the kids looking up to me can suck my dick
It's Portman motherf*cker, drink 'til I'm sick
Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry; while I laugh, you die
And to all the dudes, you know I'm talking to you
[Choir] (We love you Natalie!)
[N] I wanna f*ck you too!
[Choir] (P!)
[N] It's for Portman!
[Choir] (P!)
[N] It's for pussies!
I'll kill your f*cking dog for fun, so don't push me
[Interview #3]
[I] Well Natalie, I'm surprised, all this from a Harvard graduate?
[N] Well, there's a lot you may not know about me
[I] Really, uhh, such as?
[Natalie Portman]
[N] When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
I gotta def posse, you gotta bunch of dudes
I sit right down on your face and take a shit
[The Lonely Island]
Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch
[N] (hell yeah!)
And I'll always pay for your dry-cleaning
When my shit gets in your shoe
[N] (What!)
as for the drug use
Well I can't vouch for that, my dick is scared of you (ooh)
[Outro]
[I] Natalie, one final question
[I] If you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would it?
[N] No more questions
[I] What!
