Don’t ask me why,
but I was walking down the streets
of Fairfax, California
and I saw this flyer hangin’
on a telephone pole, and it said,
can God fill teeth?
For a 10 dollar “donation”
you could see silver fillings turn
to gold and other “supernormal dental happenings.”
New caps! Filled cavities!
Bring a flashlight and a mirror to observe.
But wait a minute,
didn’t I just read
about how the cops are getting parents
to plant bugging devices
in their kids teeth.
So if they disappear they can track ‘em
before they wind up on the backs of milk cartons
and all that.
And I didn’t read
that these devices can go two-way
and everything that I do or say
is all goin’ on tape somewhere right now.
Planted in my cavities
and they didn’t even tell me.
No wonder every bad thing
in and out of my mouth
keeps winding up on my employment record.
All those fillings,
all those crowns,
I’ll show them.
Who’s boss of my big mouth.
Where’s the pliars,
God dammit! Where’s the pliars?!?
Wilma! Where’d you put my electric drill,
this is all coming out now – today!
Agh!…
Must be some kind of conspiracy,
the whole world’s a God damn conspiracy.
Look anywhere long enough, you’re gonna find a conspiracy,
man, life is a conspiracy!
Agh!….
Needlenose,
up my nose.
Agh!
Where did all these wire come from?
How far up into my skull do they go?
I pull out more and more copper spaghetti.
How’d my Weekly World News get all wet?
God damn fishsticks melted again.
What are they trying to do to me?
No secrets in the land of the free!
There,
no one’s gonna tell me what to do.
It’s worth eating baby food,
the rest of my life
to be a free man.
Bastards:
Probably wouldn’t understand me anyway.
