Hey Marklemore, can we go pet shopping?
Woof woof woof woof
Meow meow (repeat)
MARKLEMORE
I'm gonna pet some cats
And I got snasages in my pocket
Lookin' for Llama
Or maybe an iguana
This is a nice possum
Walk into the store like what up I need a peacock
Say "Yo Adrian" to the cashier at the pet shop
Up in the front there's a newborn husky
The people like damn that's a cute ass puppy
The managers annoyed with me accuses me of loitering
Sir you have to buy something
I just won the lottery
Now I will fulfill my dream
Of a snake shopping spree
But can I get a guarantee
That they won't strangle me
Hiiiiiiiiissssssssss
Shit. I'll just keep them in the bathroom.
I'll take a basket 10 cats and a casket for dead rats
And a case of wee wee pads
Cus I hate pickin' up scat
A Ceasar Milan back pack
For my Rodigian Ridgeback
Where can I buy some diet mice
So my snakes don't get too fat
Imma take your Basset Hound
Ima take your Chow Chows
For real I'll emincipate these furry bitches now !
I'll take some nasty ass salmon treats for my 10 kittens
And since it's winter lemme git 40 small mittens
They had a neutered beagle
I bought a neutered beagle
He's got an empty sack
But he keeps on humpin' people
My room was a pigsty now it's a zoo
I can't walk through without steppin on some shitzu
I just bought blind dog who might be deaf too
The puppyheads will be like
GIRL
Awwwww, is he a rescue?
MARKLEMORE
Yeah
GIRL
Well he's hella cute
MARKLE MORE
Hella so are you. So, do you live around here?
KID
Pet store. Pettin' cats
MARKLEMORE
Get outta here, kid.
I'm gonna hoard some cats
Got about 25 in my apartment
Just like an awful
Depressing commercial
With Sarah McLaughlin
This dog is old as shit
He's got a plastic hip
I taught him three new tricks
Stay right there, play dead, and sit
I'm Dr. Doolittle
My place is full of bull
This shark is really cool
Can I store him in your pool?
I better sell some pets
They don't pay rent for this apartment
They just sit around
Lookin' for a hand out
For this I blame Obama
CREEPY KID
Is that your grandma's dog?
MARKLEMORE
Who's kid is this?
