Lyrics of a song Iris Dement - Letter to Mom

I wrote my mother yesterday 'cause I had some things that I had to say
and I know that when she reads them she's gonna cry
But in the end I hope she sees
that I'm just trying to break free
'cause I've been walking 'round with secrets now, too long

Back when I was barely ten Mom brought home a new boyfriend
and I know that times were bad and he made her feel good
but one night he climbed into my bed
and he left me wishing I was dead
and I've been walking 'round with secrets now, too long

You say I'm digging up the past and it's not wise to go back
but for me it's just as close as yesterday
and I'm not the kind for breaking rules
and I'm not wanting to be cruel
I've just been walking 'round with secrets now, too long

All my life I've felt ashamed, 'cause I thought I was the one to blame
and I vowed to God that no one else would ever know
how he crushed my childish pride
and left me tears that never dried
and I've been walking 'round with secrets now, too long

You say I'm digging up the past and it's not wise to go back
but for me it's just as close as yesterday
and I'm not the kind for breaking rules
and I'm not wanting to be cruel
I've just been walking 'round with secrets now, too long
and I've just been walking 'round with secrets now, too long

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