You used to be a special place
for all my college friends
A sanctuary in cyberspace
but every love story ends
Why’d you have to go and lose
your exclusivity?
Now all my nightmares have come true
my mom just friended me!
Since she joined she spends all her time
checking my news feed
My interests are no longer
bubble butts and sticky weed
She whacked my ass on Mafia wars
and flixtered “You’ve got mail.”
She washed the colors with the whites
and posted “laundry fail”
(’cause now)…
My mom’s on Facebook
She found a new way to nag me
My mom’s on Facebook
Comments whenever friends tag me
My mom’s on Facebook
She only got it to stalk me
My mom’s on Facebook
My childhood photos cock-block me
My wall is not for e-mail, mom
you’ll never get it right
And gifting me some sexy lips
don’t mean a kiss goodnight
She keeps on adding all my friends
they just think she’s a joke…
except for Steve who says that she’s
a mom he’d like to poke
Mama read my 25 things
and each and every note
Now she knows I lost a bet
and had to wax my scrote
Suggests new pages every day
from “hugs” to “Will and Grace”
It’s getting to the point I’ll have to
switch back to MySpace
(But not really!)
I wrote in my status
“boss is keeping me at work.”
Mom responded “now I see
why you told me he’s a jerk.”
My boss saw it and fired me
and mom’s the reason why
Now I’m starving and I’m lonely
and I’m probably gonna die
Because
My mom’s on Facebook
Now I’ve gotta watch every word
My mom’s on Facebook
Oooh, goddamn you, Mark Zuckerburg
My mom’s on Facebook
Posted a public reminder…
My mom’s on Facebook
…that I came out her vagina!
My mom’s on Facebook
Invited me to my cousin’s communion
My mom’s on Facebook
It’s like a family reunion
My mom’s on Facebook
I’m trying not to be bitter…
My mom’s on Facebook
…but she just found me on Twitter!
My mom's on Facebook
My mom's on Facebook
My mom's on Faceboooooooook
My mom, your mom, his mom
Steve’s mom… all moms!
They’re all on Facebook
