Now this may sound disgusting an’ like very gross
But it’s sure to have your trippin’
So y’all listen close
It’s not bright as the sun or sweet like sugar
But it’s rather on the bug tip and it’s called pickin’ boogers
Now what I’m emceein’ might not seem kosher to you
But it’s still somethin’ we all have to do
So go up your nose with a finger or two
And pull out one or a crusty crew
Yo, don’t try to front like it’s so gloomy and gray
’cause we all pick our boogers sometime every day
Whether out in the open or on a sneak tip
With a finger, tissue, or even a q-tip
Take it from the biz markie because I’m jokin’
And also, remember this slogan
Hey, ma, what’s for dinner?
Go up your nose and pick a winner
Pickin’ boogers
Pickin’ boogers
Let me tell you what happened on the train, man
I was coolin’ one day with my partner kane
Headed up to the rooftop, ridin’ the d train
When the man sittin’ next to me was so profane
He’d stick his finger up his nose, then do a drain
(you should ’a moved)
I was just about, but all of a sudden, homeboy just pulled out
A big green slimey, not even gonna say it
But it weighed a good pound if you tried to weigh it
He sat there for a while with it in his hand
So I tried to play cool and like ignore the man
So I laid my head back to catch a quick nap
All of sudden, he plucked it dead in my lap
Now kane sat there laughing like it was all a joke
But a brother like biz markie had almost choked
So I dug up my nose and pulled out about 5
And plucked every last one of them dead in his eye
Then the man jumped up and said
"What's wrong with you?"
and wiped them off his face and said
"I can't mess with you"
Like if I did something that was so full of shame
But yo you got to know the name of the game
Pickin’ boogers
Pickin’ boogers
Pickin’ boogers (Mmmm)
Now let me take a trip down memory lane
Back in public school with my partner kane
When I was class clown and he was my brother
Sittin’ at the desk pluckin’ boogers at each other
Never do our work as we were suppose
’cause we was too busy diggin’ up our nose
and in the lunchroom we would talk about rude
gossip at the person that all leave his food
No matter who you are we didn't give a damn
We even put teachers down with the program
Well if you was a woman or if you're a man
We'd put boogers on our fingers then shake your hand
Catch anyone from anywhere, but the best fun about it
catchin’ kane out there
Especially when we playing ball at the gym
I put boogers on the basketball and pass it to him
Now we're grown up and think that's changed
But we're still playin’ the pick your boogers game
Just last night when kane was gettin’ ready
I slipped a little green one inside his spaghetti
Pickin’ boogers
Pickin’ boogers
Pickin’ boogers
Pickin’ boogers
Let me tell you what happened to me with this girl
One night in Latin Quarters I was standin’ there easy
I saw a gorgeous young lady that I wanted to squeeze
I knew sure enough that I really did want it
so no half-steppin’ I pushed the bonnet
Well I'm a go-able and enough that was phat
Had a spotlight beamin’ on my bismal cap
But when she stepped in the light and she got real close
I saw a teeny weeny booger on the tip of her nose
She was dressed real dep and and her body was hooked
But that brought-up booger just ruined the look
I wanted to tell her about it but I couldn't be bold
So I played it off and said "That's a cute green mole"
I was hopin’ from that she would wipe it away
But she didn't do nothin’ , I guess she wanted it to stay
I said "Before you get my number, I don't mean to diss you,
but write it in the handbook ’cause you're gonna need the tissue"
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